Tale of the Tape: Divisional Playoff Edition--Oh let us beat..Your Teddy Bears!

[Seattlehawk94]

We here at the Tale of the Tape Institute pride ourselves on being the Hawks good luck charm and our 2-0 record speaks for itself, with that we bring you an epic matchup for the right to go to the NFC Championship Game.

Today we compare Seattle with the lovely city by polluted errr..."Beautiful" Lake Michigan!

Population:
Seattle: 3,344,813 (14th)
Chicago: 9,713,213 (3rd)

Winner: Chicago: not only are they #3 in the USA but they are #28 on Earth...

Name:
Seattle: Named after a local Duwamish chief named Sealth. His grave on Bainbridge Island looks at his namesake city.
Chicago: Originates from "Checagou" (Chick-Ah-Goo-Ah) or "Checaguar" which in the language of the Potawatomi means 'wild onions' or 'skunk'. The area was so named because of the smell of rotting marshland onions that used to cover it.

Winner: Seattle: Though Chicago has something in common with Tacoma an old Indian word for "smells like ass"....

Nickname:
Seattle: Emerald City
Chicago: The Windy City

Winner: Seattle: When your town smells like the rear end of a skunk you treasure the fact it's windy all the time...

Sports Teams:
Seattle: Seahawks, Mariners, Sounders
Chicago: Bulls, Blackhawks, Fire, Cubs, Bears, White Sox

Winner: Chicago: Not only do they have the NHL and NBA, they also have both an NL AND an NL team..Though the Cubs really almost couldn't be considered a MLB team...

Sports Teams Lost:
Seattle: 2-Supersonics, Pilots
Chicago: 4-Tigers (NFL-Folded), Cardinals (NFL-moved to St. Louis then to Arizona), Stags (NBA-Folded), Packers/Zephyrs (NBA-Moved to Baltimore became Baltimore Bullets then to Washington where they are currently the Wizards)

Winner: Seattle: They've lost a pair of NFL teams, a pair of NBA teams...Kinda makes us look good in that way..

Championships:
Seattle: 2-Mets won 1917 Stanley Cup, Supersonics won 1979 NBA Finals.
Chicago: 27-Bears won: NFL Championships in 1921, '32, '33, '40, '41, '43, '46, '63, Superbowl XX;
Cubs: 1907, '08;
White Sox: 1906, '19(fixed, See: Black Sox), 2005;
Blackhawks: 1934, '38, '61, 2010;
Bulls: 1991, '92, '93, '96, '97, '98
Fire: 1998
Cardinals: 1925, '27

Winner: Chicago: After seeing all those do ANY of you feel bad about their whining about the Cubs not winning in 100 years? CRY ME A FREAKING RIVER!

Notable Landmarks:
Seattle: Space Needle, Columbia Center, EMP
Chicago: Sears Tower (whatever it's named nowadays), Water Tower

Winner: Seattle: A water tower is a landmark? Ummm hmmm...

Beer:
Seattle: Pyramid, Redhook, Hale's Ales
Chicago: Old Style

Winner: Seattle: Old Style is equal to a Pabst in terms of "class" and taste...I'll take my microbrews, you can keep your pisswater thank ya very much...

Cuisine:
Seattle: Raw Oysters, Red Mill Burgers, Salmon, Crab
Chicago: Al's Italian Beef, Superdawgs, Deep Dish Pizza

Winner: Chicago: Anyone who's ever had a Chicago dog, and an Italian Beef knows there is a reason people from Chitown are fat...

People:
Seattle: Bob Barker, Julia Sweeney, Kenny G, Dave Matthews, Heart, Jimi Hendrix, Quincy Jones
Chicago: Oprah, Barry Hussein Obama, Sam Cooke, Michael Jordan

Winner: Chicago: Though Barry and Jordan aren't "birthers" they are most closely related to Chitown...

Natural Landmarks
Seattle: Mt. Rainier, Puget Sound, Olympic Mountains, Cascades
Chicago: Lake Michigan

Winner: Seattle: Remember, don't swin in Lake Michigan unless you want to mutate...

Head to Head:
Seattle: 8
Chicago: 5

Winner: Seattle: We got them earlier this season!

Overall Winner: Seattle: 7-5.....It's closer than we'd like but...We got this one...BELIEVE! The numbers? They never lie....

GO HAWKS!!!!

 

[SeaHawksHuddle]

There's a stand outside of Qwest (by Seattle Team Shop) that makes a helluva Chicago Dog - they even have the bright green relish and the proper sports peppers. Haven't found anywhere out here that makes a true deep dish...

 

[Seattlehawk94]

Matt's down by Boeing Field makes a good Chicago Dog as well....

So does this place:

Taste of Chicago - Seattle- Italian Beef, Italian Sausage, Chicago Style Hot Dog, Maxwell Street Polish Sausage, Pizza Puff

They've even got pork chop sandwiches...

 

[SeaHawksHuddle]

Taste of Chicago - Seattle- Italian Beef, Italian Sausage, Chicago Style Hot Dog, Maxwell Street Polish Sausage, Pizza Puff

They've even got pork chop sandwiches...

You got me excited - thought they were Pork Chop Johns.

 

[Seattlehawk94]

Not that good but they are as close to that as Seattle has....Only thing is they use grilled onions unless you ask for raw...Otherwise they are spot on..

 

[kdawg2980]

Don't forget to read this post also on my blog where I added some pictures.

SeattleSportsBlog: Tale of the Tape: Divisional Playoff Edition--Oh let us beat..Your Teddy Bears!

 

[Seattlehawk94]

Thanks Kris!

 

[kdawg2980]

Follow up on Chicago being shitty.

Top 10 most miserable cities of 2011 - MSN Real Estate

10 most miserable cities in America.

"
Top 10 most miserable cities of 2011



7. Chicago

Baseball's cubs used to be lovable losers, but $140 million payrolls and 102 years without a World Series title are miserable. Chicago had the highest sales tax among big cities at 10.25%, but it was rolled back to 9.75% in 2010 and now matches Los Angeles and Oakland, Calif., for the top rate."

 

[SeaHawksHuddle]

I love the pic of Stockton, CA. WhyTF would you have bought a house under those power lines to begin with? Jesus.

 

[Seattlehawk94]

LOL....No shit....Vallejo isn't a bad place at all, might be bankrupt as a city but it's North Bay which is some pretty expensive real estate, it's exactly the mid-point between SF and Napa and it's on the waterfront...Sorry, don't see how that's a "depressed" area..

Sactown, yeah...Some parts of it have issues and it has one sports team, SO WHAT? For the most part Sactown is an up and coming city and in a pretty area...Close to Reno, SF, and Shasta, and it's has the potential to be a mini-San Antonio if they ever get that "Riverwalk" kinda thing up to where it should be...

Modesto, Merced are pretty much the same place....That's like saying "Seattle and West Seattle go on this list seperately"....Merced is pretty gross, Modesto isn't as bad as made out to be...With the wine country vibe to it, it's not as bad as it's sister city...

Stockton....LOLOLOL....That is Sactown's Tacoma....Really it's almost the same distance and it's got the same vibe to it....Stockton also has the potential with the Sacramento River rolling right through downtown and some old buildings to repair they COULD become like parts of Tacoma which since they started cleaning up has become pretty cool...

Love how they are picking on California...I'm sure EVERY city back lEast is soooooo pretty and nice....Notice NO lEast coast shittys err...Cities made that list except for Crack-am-ie and the suburb of Crack-am-ie that can't figure out who to punch a fucking ballot...